Dedication to "Author Unknown" ~ Page 3

Some more beautiful and inspiring words from unknown authors:

~~*~~

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes;
but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.;
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,;
yet the plural of moose should never be meese.;
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice;;
yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.;
If the plural of man is always called men,;
why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?;
If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet,;
and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?;
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,;
why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?;
Then one may be that, and three would be those,;
yet hat in the plural would never be hose,;
and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.;
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,;
but though we say mother, we never say methren.;
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,;
but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.;
Let's face it, English is a crazy language.;
There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger;;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.;
English muffins weren't invented in England.;
We take English for granted.;
But if we explore its paradoxes,;
we find that quicksand can work slowly,;
boxing rings are square and a guinea pig;
is neither from Guinea, nor is it a pig.;
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,;
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?;
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends,;
but not one amend?;
If you have a bunch of odds and ends;
and get rid of all but one of them,;
what do you call it?;
If teachers taught,;
why didn't preachers praught?;
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,;
what does a humanitarian eat?;
Sometimes, I think;
all the folks who grew up speaking English;
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.;
In what other language do people recite at a play;
and play at a recital?;
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?;
Have noses that run and feet that smell?;
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,;
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?;
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy;
of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down;;
in which you fill in a form by filling it out;
and in which an alarm goes off by going on.;

~ Author Unknown ~

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